Taxidermy Drag Show

And the resurrection of Baboon Jesus

Ah, drag shows. Drag shows are everywhere in New York. Sometimes it feels like you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a drag queen in this city.

Coincidentally, a few weeks back my friends and I found ourselves at a taxidermy drag show, an event which seamlessly blends drag queens and dead cats for a night of macabre entertainment.

It’s exactly what it sounds like: picture American Idol but instead of singing, the contestants are displaying dead animal artwork to the judges, and instead of commercial breaks the competition is punctuated by drag performances.

The taxidermy competition kicked off with a piece featuring two disheveled cats.

“Wow, what a beautiful piece,” crooned the announcer, who was wearing a top hat with a dead bird attached to it.

“These cats were actually roadkill and I kept them in my freezer for a few years!” the contestant proudly announced to the judges. The judges acted surprised, as if the cats didn’t look like they had spent the last few years buried under Eggo Waffles.

Last year’s winner (in my mind, anyway) also featured a roadkill cat; it was a BDSM-themed piece called “Pussy Whipped.”

Pussy Whipped

There’s no way they can top Pussy Whipped this year, I thought to myself. It’s simply too good.

But then they carried out a magnificent piece which instantly changed my mind. It was a baboon which had been crucified à la Jesus Christ.

Now THIS was art.

But how the hell does one procure a dead baboon in New York City?

Apparently the judges were wondering this as well, and they asked Baboon Jesus’ creator.

“Well,” the contestant replied apprehensively, “it was in rough shape when we found it.”

It was a cryptic response which raised more questions than it answered. I’m sorry, you found it? What does a baboon in rough shape look like? Was it addicted to drugs and living in a motel?

I had to get a closer look, so I went to sneak a peak while the judges were deliberating.

It wasn’t as lean and muscular as the Jesus I had seen going to Catholic church growing up, but its serene expression and outstretched spindly arms gave it the appearance that it was going in for a hug, which I liked.

To my knowledge Baboon Jesus has not yet risen from the dead (perhaps he suffers from resurrectile dysfunction) but you can help by spreading the good news. Here’s a button to share the gospel of Baboon Jesus far and wide.

Go in peace, and remember, Baboon Jesus loves you!